the rain fell gently on my head as i walked slightly behind sarah. her dark black hair was wet and fell in little strands around the back of her neck. her purple sweater had a hole in the back, right near her hip and i fought the urge to reach out and put my finger in it.

i followed close behind her as she ducked into a crowded starbucks. we stood at the back of the line, laughing loudly at the latest cover of rolling stone.

"remember when we made lists of guys that were date worthy?" she laughed, grabbing a copy and staring blankly the cover.

"yeah. they had to have a tattoo somewhere, play the guitar, read kafka and have a body like kiedis," i smiled absently as i glanced over at the cover again.

"we were such dreamers," she sighed, putting the magazine back on the rack.

she stood there awkwardly, gazing up at the menu, trying to figure out what to order. i watched her and her oval eyes scan back and forth. she was gorgeous. she was the only asian/oriental woman that i had found to be gorgeous. she had this warm healthy glow and a slender, straight nose that came to a perfect parallel with her top lip.

we ordered our very strong coffee and sat down at a small table in the corner. we pushed our clumsy bags under the table, amongst our wet shoes and damp jeans and sipped carefully on the hot contents of the cups between our cold hands.

our conversation floated over several topics and eventually landed on our always central topic, guys.

"..he just doesn't know he's out of my league yet. in about 7 months it will hit him," she sighed, tapping against the plastic container on her almost empty cup of coffee.

i sat there staring at her. she had just finished a lengthy story about a boy she had met at school. having taken off a few years before starting college she was just starting to enjoy the joys of college. her latest beau, kevin, was her latest obsession. she was famous for her 'obsessions'.

"putting yourself in 'league' is what is limiting you. the more you think that certain guys are in 'your league' or out of 'your league' the more paranoid or detached you become. either way you're going to fuck it up if you think about it that way," i caught her dark eyes as the passed over me and she smiled.

"i've missed this," she laughed as she smoothed down her hair.

"yeah, i've missed this too," i smiled and ran my fingers over the top of my coffee absently.

"so.. any new boys in your life?" she asked as she played with the black rubber band bracelets around her wrists.

"nope."

"i read your webpage," she informed me.

"and?"

" i said i read it."

"so does everyone and their mother these days," i rolled my eyes and drank the last drop of my, now, luke warm coffee.

"so you're sticking to your story of 'there are no new boys for yana'?"

"yup. i hate boys. boys are just.. crusty."

"you're a liar!" she exclaimed with a sly smile.

"i'm going to talk about our conversation today on my site," i informed her, trying to change the subject.

"you're still a liar."

"no really.. i'm going to write about this."

"don't forget to put in the parts where i called you a liar," she grinned, leaning back in her chair.

"maybe i'll talk about him," i nodded over to the tall boy with dark thickly rimmed glasses and shaggy red hair behind the counter.

"but he's a boy and i think he's 19 which makes him a real boy."

"i'd rather have a real boy then a 'grown man' who still acts like one."

"you're bitter," she observed as we stood up, throwing our bags across our bodies.

"no. i'm just sick of having my name in the hat with 10 other girls and waiting for my name to get called."

"i don't get it," sarah shrugged as we moved slowly towards the exit.

"well when i do.. i'll let you know. until then lets just pretend i'm diane court."

"huh?"

"you know say anything my movie. diane court and lloyd dobbler," i glanced back at the boy behind the counter, who was watching us leave.

"yeah yeah ok. but who's going to be your lloyd dobbler?" she asked, pushing the door open and stepping timidly out into the damp air.

"i haven't found him yet."

"do you think you ever will?"

"when hell freezes over and/or a black, woman, buddhist, president is elected," i laughed as we continued our previous walk towards pike place.

"you're more cynical then i remember."

"not cynical sarah.. just jaded."

"is there a difference?" she shrugged, pushing her hands into her pockets.

"yes. one comes from anger and the other comes from hurt."

"and so yours is.." her voice trailed off as she glanced sideways at me.

"hurt sarah.. a lot of hurt."