sleep isn't so simple anymore

it's hot out tonight. not as hot as it might be in the middle of orange county or in palm springs but it's hot. it's hot because i'm just imagining all the weather sam has told me about. the coldest july in 100 years? my brother tells me stories of not having to use the air conditioner he bought and i just want it to stay that way till i get there.

so when i closed my eyes tonight i got lost somewhere between dreaming and reality. my mind tossed and turned and i reached out for something to hold on to but there was only a pillow. there was really no reason to sleep and there still isn't a reason to sleep. it's just not that simple anymore...

the water in my glass has bubbles traveling up the side. i've been drinking glass after glass since i got up because i figured my agitation was due to dehydration. yes.. there are little clear water bubbles.. they don't move too fast but somehow i know they have a purpose..

even those bubbles have more purpose then i do.