sometimes ...

... you just want to be beautiful. there are days when you want to wake up, glance in the mirror and be shocked by your reflection because you are beautiful. you want men to stop dead in their tracks because your beauty shocks them and you want every women who gazes at you from across the room to be so sick with jealousy they hide their faces behind their hands.

but i'm not talking about a great smile, smooth milky white skin or perfect breasts.

some days you just want to be beautiful inside, perfectly beautiful. you want your name to be said and people to think great things about you. you want your face to pop into someone's head and have them smile. you want your voice to ring in someone's ears and have them remember what great conversations you both have together.

i know i probably don't elicit any of those emotions in many people. that makes me both depressed and restless. i know i can't change people's minds about me. maybe one day i'll let everyone know me. maybe one day i'll let everyone see me.

until then i guess i have to deal with the fact that i'll never be beautiful to anyone... on the outside or the inside.