excuse me yana.. but where is your spine?

"will you lie to her for me? please? she won't talk to me."

oh poor baby the girl you love won't talk to you. i feel so bad for you. really i do. i thought as i sat there, my fingers shaking.

"i'm afraid if i say no that you won't talk to me again but i'm saying no. yes.. i'm saying no."

that's how it all started. well not how it all started but that's how i lost my spine. i know what you're thinking, but you said no. you said no to him.

sad but true later i said yes and i told some girl lies so she would talk to him. i know this story might seem a little vague, mostly because i didn't use names, but trust me.. it's better left that way.

but i woke up this morning only to realize that i'd a) lied to some girl i didn't even know b) lied about events that had happened and meant something to me and c) lied for a boy who i don't really think gets how much it sucked to lie for him. because once the deed was done and nothing really came of it, except maybe some poor girl led astray [much like i was], he had no need for me and didn't feel much like speaking with me.

i want to say karma will make it's rounds once again.. but then of course karma will come back and get me. but hasn't it already? aren't i already without a spine and a heart? why don't you all just come on over on my only day off for the next three weeks and walk all over me.

i mean i honestly won't feel it. i promise. then when you're done you can just ride off into the sunset and i.. i will never be the wiser.