i don't like the way this feels.

sometimes i forget that you, you or maybe even you read this website. i know it's absolutely moronic to forget that people read this. trust me i know how idiotic it sounds. but really i forget that someone that i'm writing about might be reading.

so i've taken the liberty of not using people's names. not even my best friends name, who i drink coffee with and who everyone knows is part of the force that keeps air in my lungs and blood in my veins. it's just easier that way if everyone is a he or a she and i am the only it. isn't it?

but then there are sometimes when i wish i could keep you, and you and even you from reading what i have to say because i have so much anger towards you. you invade my thoughts without even thinking about what they mean to me because you can't seem to move on and forget about my existence.is it that hard, even if you do read what i have to say, to not comment, to not add fuel to my anger? i don't think so. i keep my mouth shut. i don't comment on your sad pathetic little lives. i don't waste my energy typing up stupid messages that i know will get under your skin. so why do you? why? what is the fucking point? huh?

of course there are some of you that i know don't know me anymore or even read me anymore. that's the worst feeling. to know that you gave up, walked away and wish to have nothing to do with me is one of the most horrible feelings a person could ever have. but it's a reality i must face.. just like the people i forget about and the people i wish would forget about me.. i can't change anything.

i can only will it to happen.. maybe even hope it to happen and perhaps it will.