he pressed his fingers against the foggy glass of the passenger side window. i peeked at him through the darkness and waited for him to speak. but we sat there for a good 10 minutes just not talking and i felt anxious. i wanted to crawl into his ear and listen to his thoughts and then crawl down to his chest and lay down on his heart. i reached for his hand and he let me take it.

"stay with me tonight?" he asked.

i gulped and i felt my hand go limp in his. he felt it too and pulled his hand away from mine.

"i'm sorry. i just wanted to ask."

"it's only been-"

"yeah it's only been what? a week? 5 days? 120 hours? i smell your hair and kiss your cheeks. it feels like i've been smelling you for years and kissing your cheeks for months. when i saw you sitting at that piano that night it was love at first sight. i know you don't believe in it. i know you think i'm just another wacky guy with a complex that he's trying to fix. but i'm not. i'm not going to hurt you. i'm not going to change my mind in three months and decide that this isn't working. when you enter a room my heart leaps and you send this energy over my whole body. god i sound like a f-ing psycho.." his voice trailed off and he pulled his hand away from me and sighed.

i didn't hesitate and i reached for his face and brought his lips to mine. we kissed, a full gentle kiss, and then we pulled away from each other. our lips hesitated, wanting to reach out for their new, warm, friends but we put them back in their opposite corners like fighting children.

"i'm scared," i whispered.

"so am i," he assured me.

he left my car, quickly, and i sat their, watching him through the foggy window. he looked back at me for a split second and if i could have seen his eyes i would have abandoned my car right there and ran for him. but i couldn't see his eyes so i stayed practical and in my car.

but what is so practical about what i did? what 'idea' was i trying to live up to? the only thing i was trying to protect was my heart because i wanted to see him as this monster just waiting to reach out from under my bed and drag me into his world of nightmares. but all he wanted to do was wrap his arms around me, press my body against his and love me.

love.. the only four letter word that actually scares me to death.