we watched popular tonight. ever seen it? it's that show on the WB. the show was about the three brunette characters going blonde and how it changed their status in their high school. the show is pretty outrageous and strange, but i know that it was the key of the directors and producers to just be crazy. i admired that. dawson's creek and felicity are just creating angst-filled, way too introspective 14 year-olds.

when i was 14 i giggled at boys and wore flannel. i didn't analyze life and think everything sucked and point and blah.

he humored me as i watched, glancing occasionally over his reading glasses to glance at the screen. he was going over case files [being a social worker that's kinda part of his job] and he was busy. but the silence between us and occasional comments between commercials was sweet and comfortable.

i thought, as i watched the strange teen drama, of changing my own hair color. but at that moment he casually reached over and touched the back of my head, pulling his fingers through my hair and i glanced at him.

he wasn't looking in my direction at all but instead was concentrating on the papers in front of him. his head tilted away from me and against his hand that was supported by his elbow that rested on the arm of the black couch. his left leg rested on his right knee and a folder rested on the upside down 'p' that his legs had formed. but there he sat playing with my hair while he was writing, just playing and touching.

he suddenly glanced up after feeling my eyes on him and smiled.

"i was thinking of changing my hair color," i blurted out as his eyes met mine.

"your hair is already a nice color."

i shrugged and diverted my attention back to the television. perhaps he was right. but i was looking for a change. i was looking for a spark somewhere.

"are you going to give me the thing for your website?" he asked as he pressed his fingers into my back, a tired attempt at a massage probably.

"what thing?"

"the address?"

"yeah sure," i sighed and took the pen from his paused hand and looked for somewhere to write it.

"here," he pulled out a date book that was under his folder and opened it for me.

i wrote down the address and smiled weakly. his eyebrows furrowed ,probably wondering what was wrong. his forehead was full of cute little wrinkles between his eyebrows and i gave in a blurted out what i was thinking.

"i just feel strange. i'm introducing you to a big part of my life. i say things there that i might not normally say. i get out a lot of frustrations there. i wrote about you there."

"hey, i'm not going to judge you. but i want to read your words, not just see them."

i nodded. i understood.

so..hey greg, welcome to my words. please enjoy them and please.. stay as long as you like. heh.. :)