note: to all the people who come here and read my life. thank you. your words, links, e-mails etc are much needed encouragement. you know there are times when you think no one is watching and you start to think that no one cares. then suddenly you realize.. someone does and that it's more then one person; that really makes my day, week and month. thank you

"he's a really, really, nice guy," sarah nodded, scraping the last bit of popcorn from the bottom of the bowl and nodding toward the direction of where "the boys" were hanging out.

she was talking about greg. everyone, as of late, was always talking about greg. my mother, who had spoken to him on the phone a total of twice e-mailed me to say how nice and sweet he seemed. i was getting e-mails from random, nice, interesting people to tell me that i had potential with greg and not to blow it.

'not blowing it' had become my latest endeavor. i had blow it before with nice, sweet, interesting guys and i wasn't about to fuck it up with this one. no. i wasn't.

i watched him sitting there, on his piano bench with his wrinkled white cotton shirt and dark blue jeans. he wasn't wearing shoes and his white cotton socks rubbed against the pedals of the piano. i watched him so much lately. he is like watching a movie, even when he's just milling over paper work or waiting for the water to boil. he's the perfect movie.

for me at least.

you come to realize that at a certain point if you're able to watch someone who is watching water boil, you're in too deep to get out. you know that if they said to you "hey, look this is fun but i need to go to alaska and live like an eskimo," you would go and live like an eskimo with them. but the problem for me,as i thought about this, was that i realized i have only known him for two weeks.

they say age has no bearing a relationship but does time? did the fact that we were still toddlers as far as time goes but old geezers as far as knowledge [about each other] make a difference?

later on that night, after our guests had gone and the apartment was quiet and i watched him sleep i realized the answer was in a simple quote that, years ago, i adored:

"two people can live under the same roof for years and never truly know each other but two people at first meeting are old friends."

simple as that