weekends shouldn't have to end.

i used to love those diners with the music jukeboxes at your table. they were the kind with cheesy music on it that you would play and pretend you didn't know the names of. i remember one night last year allie, bryan, j.c. and i. sat at a really small table drinking coffee in upstate new york punching in random song numbers with our change. then we sat there and bryan and i would sing the madonna lyrics under our breath while people at the tables near us would sing along with us.

this diner wasn't like that. but i liked it anyway.

sometimes when people come to visit you for a weekend and you haven't seen them in over a year and a half you just want them to leave because in reality your whole weekend, based around them, was a big problem. but as this weekend came to a close i didn't want him to leave. i wanted to keep him locked in my guest room until his roommate called or his mom. but that wasn't really possible.

so we sat with my friends drinking coffee at this diner i used to love last summer. the waitresses knew my name, they still did. they laughed at all the boys i would bring in there and when i stopped bringing jason in.. or when i brought jason in and then brought in someone else the next day i would get raised eyebrows. they liked jason. he ordered the same thing in the same way every time we came. they even put his order up before we got inside.

they made non dairy creamer castles and i watched the decaf coffee in my cup laugh at me. i kept wishing the hours to stop moving forward. i was happy for the extra hour we got from daylight savings time, even though no one really noticed it. i felt happy, safe, and sane when i was with him; not them, but him. because he talked me into reality and happiness.

he's one of those people you're glad you were in love with because they are your friends after it all. he's one of those people you're glad you do love because his love isn't the kind that will break you no matter how intense or thin it might get.

sometimes i think i talk out of my ass, like right now.

i just wanted to say i wish this weekend could never end.. but instead i went into some long ass description of nothing. but that's the way my happiness feels right now.. it feels like this endless roll of words that mean nothing.

happiness doesn't have to have a defined description or a destination does it?